It’s not about food!

This may sound absurd and ridiculous. After all, anorexia is an eating disorder. And yeah, that means it's about food. But does that mean that it's JUST about food or that all you need to do to recover is eat more and gain weight? Unfortunately not. A lot of people that don't have an eating disorder think this is the case, but a lot of people with an eating disorder do, too.
Anorexia isn't REALLY about food. Sure, it plays a huge role in your everyday life, and it's very important to get back on track with it. You need to eat more, you need to gain weight, you need to be more relaxed about eating. It's important to do all this, because if you don't eat, you could die, and if you keep being preoccupied by food, well that's just a big hassle.
Having problems with food and weight, however, is just a symptom. And dealing with the symptoms of an illness doesn't necessarily cure it... There are other things going on here, things that have to do with you, who you are, what you want, the choices you've made. Those things are what it's really about. And that is what you need to work on as well. Because anorexia is not really about eating, but neither is recovery.
Once again, dealing with the issues you have about food and weight is very important. You cannot get better without letting go of all of that and reaching a healthy weight. But you cannot really recover if you don't deal with the underlying issues either.
You might think, this is all way too vague for me. You might think, it's hard enough eating more without adding this to my to-do list. But in reality, working on this part of your eating disorder doesn't make eating harder, it might in fact make it easier.

There are a couple of questions that are important here.
The first one is: why? Why did YOU get this eating disorder at the time that you did? There is no one answer, no right or wrong. It's different for everybody, but it's important that you figure out what happened, what was the first step you took toward anorexia, what made it worse, what was going on in your life at the time all of this started... It's important to know this, because it plays a part in your recovery, and it might help you keep it from happening again! Maybe for you it started like a diet, after a critical comment from somebody who was important to you. Or perhaps you were distressed over something that happened. Think back and figure out how it started.
The second question is also: why? Why do you have this eating disorder RIGHT NOW? It might have started for one reason, but the reason that it's still part of your life might be a completely different one. What does anorexia give you, what do you get out of it, what is its function? It's important to know this, because when you don't have the anorexia anymore, you need something else to fulfill this function. If you don't replace the anorexia by something more healthy and helpful, you're making it so much harder for yourself to let go of it. In all likelihood anorexia has taken on more than one role in your life. For some of you, anorexia might be a distraction, something to do when you're bored. That means that you'll have to find something else, a hobby, an interest or something like that to replace the anorexia. Maybe the anorexia makes you feel good about yourself, like you are accomplishing something. That means that you'll have to find something else to give you that sense of accomplishment. Think about what it does for you.
The third question is: what characteristics do you have that keep the anorexia going? Many anorexics have low selfesteem. You might feel like you're not as good as everybody else, or maybe that you don't deserve to eat. Maybe it's more subtle and you're simply dissatisfied with who you are and what you look like, and the anorexia makes you feel better about yourself. Something else we might have in common is perfectionism. For a perfectionist, everything needs to be perfect and controlled. That includes your eating pattern and how you look. Maybe you're unwilling to ask for help and you want to do everything alone. That too is something that could make recovery harder. If this goes for you, it's important that you learn to ask and accept other people's help. So, you need to ask yourself what about yourself you might need to work on.

These are very difficult questions to answer, you might really have to think about them. But make sure you do, because the answers and how you follow up with them will have a huge impact on your recovery.
The example I gave are just that, examples. I really believe that anorexia is very personal, and the whys and hows are different for everybody. There are no clear-cut answers, just some things that are more common. It's important that you figure out what your story is, how everything fits together. Because that is the only way you will be able to fight your way out of this, permanently.
These aren't the only questions that matter, nor will answering them magically make all your problems disappear. But thinking about anorexia in a different way, might help you to shift your focus away from the food and get started on changing you instead of just your eating habits. I'm not talking about turning into another person. Quite the opposite... I'm talking about rediscovering who you really are.
The best thing you can do is to move from merely thinking about these things, to talking about them. Don't keep all of this for yourself but share it with others, people that care about you. Your friends and family want to be a part of this, don't shut them out. Share this process of discovery with them... Also, talking about it, even though it might not change the situation, does change how you feel about it and how you see it. You might also want to talk to a professional (for example a counselor or a psychologist). Sometimes it's just easier to talk to a stranger, because they can distantiate themselves from the situation and you don't need to worry about hurting their feelings.
Recovery is a process of change. When you are 'finished', you're not the same person you were when you 'started' (and no I'm not just talking about size ;) ). Recovery is a process of discovery, of finding out who you are and what you want to do with your life. It's really all about you... which is very scary!